The other day after returning from my doctors appointment to confirm that I am no longer able to have babies the natural way (yeah, the procedure worked the second time around!), Drake begins to ask a slew of questions about why I did what I did. The initial questions turn to questions of his daddy and I "making" himself, Broc and Trey. Drake wanted to know why I didn't know Trey had MPS when I "made" him, why he and Broc don't have MPS, will his kids have MPS and if Trey has kids, will his kids have MPS and if so, will Trey never be able to have kids? I couldn't believe my ears...the intelligent question after question. I started from the beginning explaining to him that Daddy and I didn't know anything about MPS and that we had the possibility of having children with MPS. We talked and talked and continued with questions like, "if you would have known you could make a baby with MPS would you still have a baby?" and if you knew and the doctors helped you make the baby so that it wouldn't have MPS would that mean that me and Broc and Trey wouldn't be here?". I tried my best to explain about the individually of each sperm and egg (whew...he didn't "go there" with that) and that he was correct that IF we did know and IF we did have the doctors help daddy and I make babies that didn't have MPS, himself, Broc and Trey would not be here. Drake understood because he and Broc were carriers that he may decide with his wife (gulp, hard one to swallow) they would want his wife to be checked to see if she was a carrier of MPS when they decide to start a family (tears...he' only 9 and were having this conversation). Drake then went through every scenario of IF. If I knew before I was pregnant with him, if I would have known when I was pregnant with Broc or if we would have known before our pregnancy with Trey would we have had the doctors help? He continued... because if I did, how could I say yes now after knowing him and his brothers? Can you believe the articulation of this child? Talk about putting a mom on the spot! I explain to him that of course I wish I would have known BEFORE so that none of our kids would have to go through this terrible sickness but today I am so happy to have the three of them and that this is the path that God has made for us and that I love each of them beyond his comprehension. Drake smiled the sweetest smile and summed up his question/answer session with me by saying "mom, I'm so glad you and dad didn't know!" and gave me a hug to melt the a million hearts.
*one of my very favorite pictures of the boys..."Drake,I'm glad I didn't know too"!
2 comments:
Cam, I love you so much! None of us would have changed a single thing! Much easier for me to say than you of course. I just know I had so much fun with the boys last night and special time with each of them. xoxoxoxo!
Cammie... Wow, tears of joy never stop when I read your stories about the boys. For Drake to be so deep in his thoughts and feelings is a perfect example of God's love and countenance in your lives. Of course we would all not want you to be dealing with such a path, but God's plan is far greater than we could even imagine. Your boys are precious, and their Mommy is amazing!!!! xoxox
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